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Post by Ace on Dec 10, 2003 17:50:22 GMT -5
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Post by curious george on Dec 10, 2003 21:41:58 GMT -5
Disturbing is right!! LOL How do you find these things? cg
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Post by sparklingblue on Dec 11, 2003 15:47:04 GMT -5
I hope that won't become a new trend in winter sports.
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Post by sparklingblue on Dec 17, 2003 14:40:53 GMT -5
www.night.net/christmas/technicalxmas.html'Twas The Night Before Christmas(as if written by a technical writer for a firm that does US government contracting) 'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas. The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source thereof. Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing this fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline precipitation, might be said to rival that of the solar meridian itself - thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by eight diminutive specimens of the genus Rangifer, piloted by a minuscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated caller. With his ungulate motive power travelling at what may possibly have been more vertiginous velocity than patriotic alar predators, he vociferated loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia, and addressed each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen - "Now Dasher, now Dancer..." et al. - guiding them to the uppermost exterior level of our abode, through which structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities. As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was performing a 180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved - with utmost celerity and via a downward leap - entry by way of the smoke passage. He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebony residue from oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls thereof. His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle. His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability. The capillaries of his malar regions and nasal appurtenance were engorged with blood which suffused the subcutaneous layers, the former approximating the coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of the Prunus avium, or sweet cherry. His amusing sub- and supralabials resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot, and their ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water. Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose grey fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of holly. His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container. He was, in short, neither more nor less than an obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the optical perception of whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite every effort to refrain from so being. By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and rotating his head slightly to one side, he indicated that trepidation on my part was groundless. Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aforementioned appended hosiery with various of the aforementioned articles of merchandise extracted from his aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle. Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt about-face, placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke passage. He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a movement hitherto observable chiefly among the seed-bearing portions of a common weed. But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility: "Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary constituency, and to that self same assemblage, my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable period between sunset and dawn."
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Post by Yuliya on Dec 17, 2003 14:47:41 GMT -5
;D I thought I knew English... But i do know the key word - "obfuscated"! Trapped, anyone?
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Ray
Adventurer
Posts: 81
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Post by Ray on Dec 21, 2003 14:25:30 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D ;D
this definately reminds me of that one game i used to have: Elf Bowling... (use your imagination...you'd most likely be very accurate)
i love it...
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Post by sparklingblue on Dec 21, 2003 16:47:37 GMT -5
Trapped, anyone? Psst...Yuliya... I don't quite get that hint (quote?). Could you explain it, please? I'd hate to miss a joke.
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Post by Yuliya on Dec 21, 2003 17:18:25 GMT -5
"Hosiery was meticulously suspended..." It's just for me hoisery is more pantyhose than socks, so when I read about hanging hoisery I immediately thought of Trapped - in that episode they hang Laura's pantyhose to create distraction.
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Post by sparklingblue on Dec 21, 2003 17:46:51 GMT -5
Ah! LOL Thanks!
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Post by curious george on Dec 21, 2003 18:02:54 GMT -5
Ray! Where have you been??
::waves madly:: ;D
cg
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Ray
Adventurer
Posts: 81
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Post by Ray on Dec 22, 2003 14:04:06 GMT -5
Ray! Where have you been?? ::waves madly:: ;D cg School... but I'll be around now that i'm finally on break ::Madly waves back:: I've missed all of you guys!
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Post by sparklingblue on Dec 22, 2003 17:02:19 GMT -5
::waves to Ray:: Long time no see! I know how it is with school--keeps one away from some of life's pleasures.
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Post by curious george on Dec 22, 2003 18:56:39 GMT -5
School... but I'll be around now that i'm finally on break ::Madly waves back:: I've missed all of you guys! Hey! I'm going to take that waving back if you attribute such embarrassing quotes to me!!!! There is obviously another CG in your life! cg (who has no soldiers, thank you very much)
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Ray
Adventurer
Posts: 81
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Post by Ray on Dec 22, 2003 19:27:47 GMT -5
Hey! I'm going to take that waving back if you attribute such embarrassing quotes to me!!!! There is obviously another CG in your life! cg (who has no soldiers, thank you very much) Hee Hee!!! I'm sure you know which one I'm referring to... ;D ;D
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Post by curious george on Dec 22, 2003 20:28:05 GMT -5
Well, as a matter of fact, I could almost swear I can hear that in his voice, but darned if I can place the setting...(or set, as the case may be!).
cg
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