Post by Lauryn on Nov 6, 2004 15:43:46 GMT -5
I don't plan to make a habit of cross posting my hijinks to this board from other RS haunts (Ace, you can rest easy, LOL!) but I thought, what the hell, after the election at least some of us could use a little levity. To wit...
Since ex-actors seem to have a lock on the governorship of California, what if the old RS gang held a reunion of sorts in 2008? [slightly PG-13]
[On stage at the gubernatorial debates with the usual suspects: Pierce Brosnan, Stephanie Zimbalist, and Jack Scalia]
Moderator: A question for Mr. Scalia. Your opponent on the left, Mr. Brosnan, has made an all out effort to court the thespian vote. How do you feel about that?
JS: I don't mind a little girl on girl action. Bada boom, bada bing. That can be pretty hot. And there's a lot of industries in the Valley that depend on that kind of thing. But if you ask the girls to the party you gotta ask the guys. And I'm not bending over and touchin' my toes for nobody!
PB: Once again, my opponent has mischaracterized my position --
JS: [presents his (fully clothed) backside to the audience]I'd say it was pretty clear!
PB: [ignores him] Like governance, acting is a craft, a metier, a habit of being, a sacred calling. Why, I was high fiving James Lipton in the crowd the other day and --
JS: See what I mean? The Bravo Channel is as gay as a Mousketeer -- but not in a good way. I'd rather watch a tape of Denise Richards and Neve Campbell in "Wild Things", ya know what I'm sayin'?
PB: That Denise is a wonderful girl. Did you know that for the underwater scenes in "The World is Not Enough" she served as my flotation device. She has a naturally bouyant ... personality.
JS: Great hooters, too!
PB: [visualizing] Indeed. [they both observe a moment of silence]
SZ: [throws up her hands] We'll they've got the boob vote all sewn up!
JS: [aside to Brosnan] Just between us, double-oh-seven, did Neve Campbell ever come on the set?
PB: Actually, Denise invited her to the wrap party. We saw a good deal of each other. All the girls were dressed as air hostesses and --
Moderator: Let's try to stay on message, please. Any further rebuttals, Mr. Brosnan?
JS: You two guys got a butt fixation or what? I'm outta here! [tramps off stage]
PB: If my constituents want to reach me I'll be in Sacramento shortly. If Neve should call, I have my secretary put her on ASAP.
SZ: [in disbelief] You're putting us all on. The closest you'll get to the state capital is a Jeopardy! question.
PB: In that case, I'll take "Winners" for $1,000, Alex.
SZ: Hey, that's an on-air solicitation! I want equal time!
Moderator: I'm afraid that's all the time we have. Stayed tuned for next week's debate, when we hope to make it all the way to question four. This is Ashton Kutcher, your moderator, signing off
Special to Ace: I haven't forgotten about the rest of that interview.
Since ex-actors seem to have a lock on the governorship of California, what if the old RS gang held a reunion of sorts in 2008? [slightly PG-13]
[On stage at the gubernatorial debates with the usual suspects: Pierce Brosnan, Stephanie Zimbalist, and Jack Scalia]
Moderator: A question for Mr. Scalia. Your opponent on the left, Mr. Brosnan, has made an all out effort to court the thespian vote. How do you feel about that?
JS: I don't mind a little girl on girl action. Bada boom, bada bing. That can be pretty hot. And there's a lot of industries in the Valley that depend on that kind of thing. But if you ask the girls to the party you gotta ask the guys. And I'm not bending over and touchin' my toes for nobody!
PB: Once again, my opponent has mischaracterized my position --
JS: [presents his (fully clothed) backside to the audience]I'd say it was pretty clear!
PB: [ignores him] Like governance, acting is a craft, a metier, a habit of being, a sacred calling. Why, I was high fiving James Lipton in the crowd the other day and --
JS: See what I mean? The Bravo Channel is as gay as a Mousketeer -- but not in a good way. I'd rather watch a tape of Denise Richards and Neve Campbell in "Wild Things", ya know what I'm sayin'?
PB: That Denise is a wonderful girl. Did you know that for the underwater scenes in "The World is Not Enough" she served as my flotation device. She has a naturally bouyant ... personality.
JS: Great hooters, too!
PB: [visualizing] Indeed. [they both observe a moment of silence]
SZ: [throws up her hands] We'll they've got the boob vote all sewn up!
JS: [aside to Brosnan] Just between us, double-oh-seven, did Neve Campbell ever come on the set?
PB: Actually, Denise invited her to the wrap party. We saw a good deal of each other. All the girls were dressed as air hostesses and --
Moderator: Let's try to stay on message, please. Any further rebuttals, Mr. Brosnan?
JS: You two guys got a butt fixation or what? I'm outta here! [tramps off stage]
PB: If my constituents want to reach me I'll be in Sacramento shortly. If Neve should call, I have my secretary put her on ASAP.
SZ: [in disbelief] You're putting us all on. The closest you'll get to the state capital is a Jeopardy! question.
PB: In that case, I'll take "Winners" for $1,000, Alex.
SZ: Hey, that's an on-air solicitation! I want equal time!
Moderator: I'm afraid that's all the time we have. Stayed tuned for next week's debate, when we hope to make it all the way to question four. This is Ashton Kutcher, your moderator, signing off
Special to Ace: I haven't forgotten about the rest of that interview.
